Often women realize that they are unhappy in their marriage. And at the same time, they do not always understand that they make themselves this way. The reason for this is a number of mistakes they make. What are these mistakes and how to become happy, aif.ru told psychologist Roman Tsvetkov.
Marriage is one of the most important events in a woman’s life, opening the door to new responsibilities, challenges and expectations. However, even with the best intentions, many make mistakes that can undermine family happiness. Misunderstandings, communication breakdowns and feelings of loneliness are just a few of the consequences faced by those who do not notice their mistakes. Harmonious relationships require not only love, but also awareness.
Constant desire to please
Many women in marriage tend to forget about their own desires and needs, focusing entirely on their partner. This may manifest itself in the fact that they always give in, are in no hurry to express their opinions, or completely adapt to their husband’s wishes. This behavior is often associated with a fear of conflict or a subconscious belief that in order to maintain a relationship, you need to give up yourself.
However, suppressing your needs over time causes a feeling of dissatisfaction, which gradually develops into irritation or even anger. This internal tension inevitably takes its toll on the relationship, leading to misunderstandings and emotional detachment.
It is important to remember that marriage is a union of two equal partners, where everyone’s needs matter. Instead of remaining silent, express your thoughts and desires calmly and constructively. Discussing everyday issues, time spent together, or the distribution of responsibilities will help find a compromise.
Unclear expectations
One of the common pitfalls in marriage is a lack of clarity in expectations. Many couples enter relationships based on implicit assumptions about the division of responsibilities, finances, or child-rearing, believing that the partner automatically shares their views. This is often due to the fact that in ideas about family life, people rely on models learned in childhood or on their own beliefs, without discussing them with their partner.
Unclear expectations can become a source of dissatisfaction, especially if reality diverges from dreams. For example, some women hope that having a child will change their relationship with their husband or make him more involved in the family. However, often it is the birth of the first child that becomes a serious test for a marriage, reducing satisfaction with the relationship.
To avoid such disappointments, it is important to discuss key aspects of your life together before getting married. This applies to the distribution of household responsibilities, financial issues and plans for the future. Open dialogue helps reduce the likelihood of misunderstandings and teaches you to see family difficulties as a normal part of the journey together, and not a reason for disappointment.
Underestimating the influence of tone and style of communication
Tone of voice and communication style plays a key role in communication, especially in marriage. Even a small amount of irritation or negativity in intonation can significantly affect the perception of what is said, turning even constructive comments into a reason for conflict.
When expressing your thoughts and voicing concerns, it is important to do so with respect. If emotions take over and the tone becomes harsh, this only aggravates the situation, alienating partners from each other. Instead of looking for solutions, communication turns into an exchange of reproaches, which prevents the achievement of mutual understanding.
The best way to avoid such situations is to discuss issues of concern calmly and with an emphasis on finding compromises. Open but respectful dialogue not only helps resolve conflicts, but also builds trust in relationships, creating an environment where everyone feels heard.
Mismatched communication styles
In a marriage, differences in communication styles can be a major barrier to understanding. Often women, feeling that they are not being heard, begin to repeat their requests or comments, trying to get a reaction. However, this may be perceived by the partner as intrusiveness, and not as a desire to convey their point of view.
This dynamic, where one partner insists on talking while the other withdraws or avoids the topic, creates a vicious cycle. In such situations, it is important to give your partner time to think about what was said and the opportunity to express their opinion. Being respectful of the communication process will help avoid feelings of pressure and reduce tension.
It is also important to understand that not all aspects of personality can be changed. Some problems can remain in a relationship for a long time, as they are related to character and habits. For example, you cannot expect a cautious person to become an adventurer, or an introvert to become the life of the party. Accepting inevitable differences helps strengthen the union by creating space for compromise and mutual respect.
Unwillingness to appreciate and support a partner
In the hustle and bustle of everyday worries about work, children and home, many women lose sight of the importance of expressing attention and gratitude to their partner. Meanwhile, it is small gestures – a smile, an approving look, a touch or simple words of support – that strengthen the emotional connection in marriage.
These positive expressions remind both partners that they are important to each other. Friendship, which is the basis of successful relationships, requires constant attention and care. Unfortunately, spouses often act out of habit, relying on old ideas about themselves and their partner, without taking into account how their needs and desires have changed over the years of marriage.
To maintain happiness in a relationship, it is important to regularly make time for each other, update your knowledge about your partner, and look for ways to show your love. Marriage is not a static structure, but a living union that requires constant development and mutual support.
Source: aif.ru